What I Learned In Boating School Is.......

Please read Let’s Talk About Sex Baby, if you already haven’t for a reference, or a good refresher if you need it!

Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018! It’s been a while since I last visited this space. This space that gives me so much comfort to express myself. It’s been too long, 5 months has been entirely too long. But when you’re juggling several different organizations on campus while constantly telling yourself you’re going to learn all the amino acid structures for Biochemistry (even though you don’t after an entire semester) you kind of lose your motivation to create, and Your Curlfriend is my most favorite outlet to create on. I kinda left on a bang. The last big piece was a complete success and I got constant questions on when my next piece would be out, I’m sorry for the wait. I had numerous hair styles and great fashion choices throughout this five month gap, but I feel like as the year closes those type of pieces aren’t big enough to close the year with. I’d rather be silly and relatable. Emotional and insightful. Encouraging and positive. I want to leave 2017 with a message and enter 2018 with hope, and I want you all to ride this rollercoaster of my journey with me, of course! A letter to myself as the year closes….. So what did I learn in 2017? Who did I become? Am I different from who I was in 2016? Did I grow? Most importantly did I leave a mark? I don’t want to sound like Carrie Bradshaw. My blog was created for me to express myself, but come on now, it’s literally called Your Curlfriend, it was designed to promote my head and whatever I decided to do to it. My blog wasn’t Sex and the City, so I don’t want to constantly talk about young men, but 2017 did open my eyes about how I deal with young men. Young men also contributed to my growth this year. Because of certain encounters with them I feel as though I am stronger and wiser, oh how cliché. We all know the lessons I learned from Monroe, but the end of the year allowed me to connect with that girl from high school, the one I thought I had lost. She’s really always been there.

So there was this boyyyyy, (add lots of gushing heart eyes). I fell for this young man because he was entirely nice and sweet and I felt like he absolutely adored me. Fast forward and we decided to go our separate ways. Disappointed? I didn’t tell yall the full story? Sawwyyyy, as badly as I want to give details, this one has to stay with me. It may be in the tell-all memoir when I’m on my Issa Rae flow with several successful HBO shows, but for now this story is far more intimate in my heart. Anyway the aftermath is the powerful takeaway I want yall to have. Let’s Have Sex Baby, inspired so many people and I want my heartbreak to do more than that I want to leave 2017 with a lesson for the girls like me or anyone who needs to hear it. After several waves of tears, one has to pick themselves up, dust themselves off and try again, just like we’re taught in elementary school. Now that may seem easy to say, it’s actually quite easy to type. In real life, it’s actually very difficult. Believe me, I was there about a week ago (cue the music), but you’ll get up when you’re sick of sulking. You’ll get sick of crying in front of everyone, your mom, your sisters. Come on now realize who you are! Let me warn you that you’ll only cry this much when you’re really hurt. If you’ve experienced this pain, feel it with me, if you’ve never experienced the constant urge to cry, the flashbacks, the insecure feelings, beloved I wish I were you, and I pray you never feel this. Once the crying subsides, reflect. Look back on what occurred and come to terms with it. See the wrong you caused and see what ultimately shouldn’t have happened. No one possesses a time machine, except maybe the writers for The Simpsons, and since we aren’t them, instead of regretting our decisions, learn to live with them. Grow from them. So you made a mistake. Ok, now what? You’re still you, the sun’s still going rise tomorrow, you’re still gonna need to register for classes and you’re still gonna need to go to work. So you can sit and tweet on Twitter all day about how you’re heart broken and retweet all the “Niggas aint shit” tweets you can find. Guess what that “nigga” you subtweeting still got up, went to work, and is still gonna live life, while you sit in bed and think about him all day. Get up beloved. Adjust your crown Queen. Put on your makeup. Wash your hair. Deep condition. Add the Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Put in the twists. Go to your closet. Color coordinate. Take the poppin’ selfies. Do what you gotta do honey. Move on. Listen to your mother’s advice “Men are like buses. There’s always another one coming.” Switch up the lyrics of the great philosopher Gucci Mane: “Men are like buses, miss one, next 15, one comin’” Like girrrllllll, baby, please, don’t give him the energy. Chalk it up that you got attached way too early and he wasn’t going. You wanted more my dear- and that’s ok. But accept it didn’t work and push forward.

You are beautiful, you are smart, you are loving, you are kind, and you are funny. No! You’re hilarious. You’re positive. A hopeless romantic and you got your heart broken. The lessons you need to take into 2018 are to learn to love yourself more. In the words of generational leader J. Cole: “Love yourself girl, or nobody will” Love yourself baby girl, you’re worth it. Slow down. You been doing 80 in a 60 screaming fuck a ticket and you end up in jail each time. Pray for patience in the New Year my girl, you need it. That’s the spoiled only child in you, you THINK you can get everything you want, but you can’t control other people. They’re not gonna operate a certain way because you want them to. Let good things come, this falls under patience as well, but let a young man do something MARACULOUS before you fall, ok? Ok! Study harder, in your courses and in people. Study. Choose your battles, hold your tongue more than necessary. Observe. Grow wiser and less swift in your responses. PRAY. All things will fall into place with God and he has been neglected within your life for so long now. You felt so alone and so broken. As if you had no one to talk to and the one who has been with you every step of the way never left your side, all he wanted was for you to empty your burden upon him. Get back to him, he’s waiting. Love hard this year Jess. Don’t let anything take away your innocence with love. Love your friends, your family. Pray for your grandmother’s strength and that her voice returns to her. Humble yourself and remember you cried for days over a young man, there are people dying, starving, those who are less fortunate- don’t ever do that dumb mess again. You shed one tear and you get up. Period. Move on. Breathe. Breathe in, breathe out, and get up. Rest if you must, but don’t quit. Remember who you are and foster on. No one can ever take a piece of you. You are still whole. You are still you, even that you you thought you were looking for- you’re still her. Pick up the pieces and explore your canvas. You’re masterpiece isn’t complete yet, you just have another element to add to it. To those who need it, but really I needed it for myself.