Its Been Real......Sexy

So here we are one week later. One week since I released to the world my truth. So let's recap.

One week ago, I sat at my computer and typed. Confused and unclear, I typed out what had transpired in the past few weeks of my life. As I typed I gained focus on events that had led up to these moments and a story was written before my eyes. Why? Why tell this story and not hold back on intimate details? As I discovered how I had been betrayed, I was hurt. I felt like crying. I had the biggest ball of knots in my throat and stomach. Above all I was embarrassed. Embarrassment goes hand and hand with paranoia. I was paranoid that if my trusted friend knew something intimate about me, others must know, or would know too. Writing had always been an outlet for me. When emotions take over, I turn to writing to express myself. It calms me, and in another life I would be Maya Angelou with novels and poems and notoriety. So instead of crying, I wrote. I wrote until the entire occurrence was in front of me, and then I read. I read it. I read it. I read it again. I read it until it made me laugh. I read it until I didn't care anymore. I read it until I didn't care if anyone else was to read it. I read it until I had my voice back. I owned up to every decision I made and I read it until I stood by them. See, now I controlled the narrative, and no one could say anything to me that I stood by my truth 100%. I sent the story to four people who I trusted dearly and asked should I publish it. The best answer I received was "Now that I can't decide, its up to you". It may seem simple to some, but that response really made me wonder, "What do I gain from this?" I ultimately published the story for myself. I had written a story, something I hadn't done in a long time. Writing was my passion and I wanted to get back to her, so I pressed send.

Though a story, it is completely factual. Now there are always two sides to a story, this I acknowledge, so from my end its completely factual, I couldn't see how it isn't, but you can ask Monroe what his take is. When I published the story, I honestly wanted people to laugh, I'm a clown of course. I was never prepared for the feedback which I would incur. In a matter of two days over 200 people had read the piece. A week later and its shy of 400 readers. The piece has crossed oceans as its been read in Japan, The United Kingdom, France, Spain, Romania, Germany, and the Bahamas. In the United States it has been read in California, Illinois, Kansas, Arkansas, Louisiana, Florida, New York, Tennessee, Georgia, the list goes on! People were calling me, and texting me and direct messaging me about the piece. I never knew people would relate to the story. So many people shared intimate stories with me. That is what has touched me the most, that I was able to serve as a voice for so many and that I created an atomosphere where people were comfortable to share their own stories with me. I loved hearing people's take aways from the piece. What astounded me is the various different aspects of the piece that spoke to people. People pointed out different stories within the one story I had created.

The love floored me. There was so much loved shown to me after the publication. I try to stay humble, but people really tried to say I didn't write the piece. Some were amazed and said it sounded like a published journalist, then some said it solely wasn't me. Believe me I'm not gonna pretend to embarrass myself, it happens too often to create awkward situations. There isn't a word with enough expression to express my gratitude. All I can say is THANK YOU! Thank you to everyone who read, everyone who conversed, everyone who shared, and everyone who reached out to me. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

This story isn't about virginity. Hell, honestly it isn't even about sex, ironic right? This story wasn't to bash Monroe. That's not his real name, but honestly the story isn't even about him. Its about me, its about the reader, its about whatever you decide to take from it. I wish him well, hopefully yall read, but the young man has a bright resume and future- he'll be straight. Its about self worth and value and insight. Its about not losing yourself and remembering who you are. Self knowledge allows you to move through life without paranoia, without embarrassment and without regrets. I pray that everyone takes time to get to know themselves again, if they've ever been lost and I pray that if anyone tries to shatter this self realization that you tell them to either "get with it or get lost", because this train slows down for no one and its expensive to snag a seat.

Forever and always, thank all of you who read. Thank all of you who visited. The site is almost at 1,000 views and this little train, my little baby Your Curlfriend is about to take off. And I'm done rambling, but if you laughed, I love you even more, because I'm hilarious right? Tell your friends to read the piece and SUBSCRIBE!